


Gas Station // Joshler

by imagoner



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cute, Gas Station, Top - Freeform, joshler - Freeform, self titled, twenty one pilots - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:36:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7600144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagoner/pseuds/imagoner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its 2am when Tyler and Josh meet at a gas station</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so i wrote this and it's kinda messy and idk if i like it but tell me what you think! I also struggled with a title for this one. Anyways, love ya.

Josh checks the time on his phone for the seventh time within the same minute.  
2:12am.

He sighs, looking up from his phone and around the empty store.  
He's been working at the 24 hour gas station since 11pm that night and is beginning to feel like laying down right behind the counter and just falling asleep. But instead, he continues to occupy himself by playing random games on his phone and drumming his fingers on the counter. Not to mention sipping at caffeine drinks to keep him awake. Although they seem to be wearing off.

The artificial lights have been straining Josh's eyes and all he really wants to do is go home. He has walked through every aisle and fixed every shelf, done everything he can to keep himself entertained. He even began colour-coordinating some of the items, until he realised that people are just going to mess it up within the next day.

He doesn't realise somebody has walked into the store until a figure standing near the cold drinks catches his eye. He must be more tired than usual, because the door let's out a frustratingly loud ring whenever somebody is within its vicinity. It's hard to miss.

He stares at the boy, who he can only just see through the numerous shelves of food and random supplies.  
Josh can only see the back of his head, but he is immediately wondering why on earth somebody would come to a gas station at this hour of the night just to get a cold beverage.

Josh wipes that thought as he realises there could be a few reasons, coming back from a party is one, although he doesn't know where the cold drink comes into the picture.

He continues to ponder the story behind the boy, who has now become a victim of Josh's internal game of people-watching. Something Josh always seems to do, purely out of curiosity and boredom. 

The boy turns his face slightly, assumingly to read a label, and Josh gets a small glimpse of the strangers face. He has darkish-brown hair. The type of brown that you'd see on a mouse.

The boy is still too far away for Josh to take in, and Josh doesn't wanna seem creepy, so he continues back to his phone and waits for the boy to approach the counter.

And after about 5 minutes, Josh looks up to find the boy standing in front of him.  
Again, he only gets a small glimpse before looking away, but it's enough for Josh to know that the boy is intimidatingly attractive.

"Hello"  
He mumbles, slowly placing his items in front of Josh.  
"Hello, just these?" He says, purposely avoiding eye contact and attempting to focus on the register.  
"Mhm"  
He begins to scan the items, keeping a mental note of the products the attractive boy has chosen.  
1\. multiple cans of red bull  
2\. A bottle of coke  
3\. A bag of corn chips  
4\. A Hershey's chocolate bar  
And some other stuff too, like bread and such. The necessities. 

As Josh scans and bags the items, he realises that the boy is letting out a faint but audible hum. It's a beautiful yet unidentifiable tune and it almost catches Josh completely off guard. It tempts him to stop everything and pause to just listen.  
He doesn't.

It's a quiet and low hum, but Josh can tell that the brown haired boy can sing, and it interests him. He looks up at him to find he's staring at his phone, typing in a speedily fashion. Josh almost gets lost in the boys beauty before stopping himself and continuing to do his job.

As Josh finishes off scanning all the items, he hears a loud bang.  
"Fuck"  
Josh looks up immediately to find the boy with his hands on his head and his phone on the floor.

There's a moment of silence, and the boy hesitates to pick up his phone to see the result. And Josh was gonna be honest, the drop didn't sound so promising.

He squats down and slowly reaches for his phone, Josh analysing the situation the whole time.  
He flips it over and...  
Cracked.  
"Shit"  
"Is it okay?"

The boy looks up with an annoyed expression, but Josh knows it's not aimed at him. It takes the boy a second to reply.  
"It's turning on still, I think, but there's a big crack right through the middle. I can't really see anything."  
He says, rising himself back up and tilting the screen slightly towards Josh for him to see.  
"That sucks"

The air is quiet as the boy observes his now broken phone. It's about now that Josh would tell the customer the total price of everything and expect them to pay. But Josh feels slightly sympathetic towards the stranger and decides to let him have his little moment of self-annoyance and fault.

In fact, Josh takes the chance to carefully watch the boy, and has now decided he is the actual real life humanization of an angel.

"Oh um, I'm sorry. How much was that?"  
Josh snaps out of his trance and averts his eyes to the register.  
"$12:50"  
The boy nods, and Josh has a sudden urge to ask him his name, but then realises that it would seem pretty odd.

"Shit, I was just going to tap my card with my phone. Do you mind me going to my car to get some cash real quick?" The boy speaks, and Josh is so entranced by his voice that he agrees straight away without really listening to a word of it.

He watches after the boy while he exists the store, making the door ring as he dips into the dark. The car lights up and Josh observes through the window. He can see him searching through his car, attempting to find his wallet. Soon the boy returns back into the store, with some money in his hand.

He hands it to Josh and Josh gives him the change, as well as the bag of items.  
"Thanks" the boy sighs out, he then turns his back and begins to walk towards the door.

It now comes to Josh's realisation that it's the end of his encounter with the attractive boy, and he refuses to let it go that easily.

"What- what was that tune you were humming?" Josh asks, not really remembering making the decision to open his mouth, let along let the boy in on the fact that he was listening to him humming.  
No, that was too weird.  
But it's already been done, and the awkwardness of it is clearly sensed in the air. 

The boy turns around, looking slightly startled. Josh cringes at the question he just asked, but does all he can to not let it show.  
The boy takes a step forward and sifts his fingers through his hair.

"Oh uh... It was um. My song, well um one of my songs. I write songs. I mean, I write music." The boy stumbles over his words, and it makes josh smile slightly.

"It was? It had a really interesting melody"  
Josh says, trying to act confident (and not at all like he was screaming at himself inside his head).

"Oh uh, thanks. I didn't know you were listening" the boy scrunches his eyebrows and laughs as he exhales. Josh can feel himself turn pink.

"No I was just, uh, well sorry if that's like, weird" Josh knows how unprofessional that sounds, but it's 2am for gods sake. It's too late to be able to talk to pretty boys at work and not say something stupid or embarrasing. 

In that moment, Josh suddenly becomes very aware of his appearance. He silently wishes he could pause time, quickly run to the bathroom and fix himself in the mirror. Instead he reaches for his hair and flattens it quickly, hoping that he doesn't look like a bright pink mop.

"No it's okay, I don't mind"  
There's an awkward pause in which the boy and Josh make eye contact, Josh can feel his skin burning up and his pupils dilating. God he feels stupid. But the boy was just so goddamn handsome. 

"I actually have a uh, a spare copy in my car of um, of some of my stuff"  
The boy fumbles with his fingers nervously and Josh realises what he's suggesting.  
"If you uh, want… I can give you a copy"  
Josh is definitely 100% on board with that idea. Whatever this boy had to offer, he would take it.

"Sure man, that actually sounds pretty cool"  
The boy smiles at Josh's response of approval and suddenly his whole body language changes to a much cheerier version.

"Oh really? Okay let me um, let me just.." He points his thumb behind him and starts walking towards the exit, bag in hand, and Josh once again observes the boy as he runs outside into the night (making what Josh thinks is probably the most annoying door ever in existence, ring obnoxiously again) and opens his car up. Lighting up the car park dimly.

He watches as the boy approaches the store again and the door rings, again.  
The boy waddles up to the counter and nervously hands over a cd with some coloured art work on it. Josh notices it straight away.

"I like the cover, it's- interesting"  
He hears a weak laugh come from the boy, and Josh feels as if he's seen 10 different sides to him already.

"Yeah, it's cool isn't it?" He says proudly.

Josh flips the cd over to look at the tracks and his eyes glaze over the song titles. Some of them seem quite normal, like Fall Away, and some of them he questions.  
Like Johnny boy or The Pantaloon.  
Either way, none of the titles give a hint to the genre this boy is playing at. Rock? Maybe. Pop? doubt it. Maybe somewhere in the Alternative spectrum.

"So which one were you humming?"  
Josh questions, looking up from the cd and to the boy of whom he still doesn't know the name of.  
He leans closer to Josh and points at one of the tracks in the middle.

"That one, Oh Ms Believer"

Josh get anxious from the closeness of the boy and finds himself staring once again. The boy looks up and they lock eyes, for a second Josh forgets where he is and what he's doing.

"Cool, uh, I'll be sure to listen." Josh says softly and the boy takes a step away.

Josh also notices that there is no band name on the front of the album.

"What's- what's your band called?"  
Josh asks, still looking at the cd.

"Well, right now it's just me. So I guess Tyler Joseph. That's the band name." The boy lets out an adorable cackle and Josh can't help but smile.

Tyler. Joseph.

The relief of knowing the boy’s name without actually having to ask was satisfying. It cooled down Josh's nerves. 

"Wow, you did all this? That's pretty cool"  
Josh smiles and Tyler smiles back, the entire store remains still and silent, besides the awkward exchange they continue having.  
"Yeah" he mumbles.  
Josh holds onto the cd tightly and checks the time on his phone.

"Oh uh, what's the time? My phone is, well, you saw" the boy sighs and Josh holds the screen up so Tyler can see.

2:23am.  
Tyler tiredly nods at the screen.  
"Well I uh, better get going. It's late."  
He gives Josh a small smile and Josh returns it.

"Thank you, for the cd."  
Josh squeezes it in his hand, it now becoming a part of his body language while he waves his arms as he talks.

"No problem" Tyler takes a few steps back, towards the exit, but does not turn fully. As if he is expecting something.

"And I hope your phone recovers fully" The boy behind the counter jokes and Tyler laughs, lifting his hand in a small wave before almost reaching the door.

"Thanks" he finally says, before exiting.

The door rings absurdly once again. And Josh is left with an empty store just as he was 10 minutes ago.

He watches the car drive away and suddenly everything feels oddly vacant, as if he'd forgotten what it felt like to be alone for a second.

He thinks about the eventful interaction he just had. It seemed like something out of a tv show or a book. An extremely attractive boy had just charmed in, let out a beautiful tune via humming, broken his phone, gone out to get money, returned, almost left again, then went to get his own freaking cd, gave it to Josh, and then left.

He stares at the door, half hoping that it would ring and the boy would just waltz into the store, and they would end up talking for the entire night. Till the sun rises.  
Obviously that wasn't going to happen, and josh told himself how stupid of a fantasy that was. 

It was as if the tables had been turned, it was no longer Josh that was the one urging for something interesting to come out of the night. It was like, the night had given him all too much interesting, and then just left it there to stir in Josh’s mind. 

He stares at the cd, and decides that the first thing he was going to do tomorrow afternoon was listen to it. He smiles at himself and the bareness of the store. He smiles at the thought of the boy’s voice or his hair. Or his small laugh.

Josh realises that he hadn't even opened up the cd yet, and as he goes to, a small slip of paper falls out of it and onto the ground. Face down.

Josh stares at it, much like Tyler did with his phone. Anticipating the result of the other side. Maybe it was blank. Or maybe not.

The only difference is that Tyler had hoped for his phone to be blank. That would have been the good result, the better outcome.  
Rather in Josh's situation right now, it'd just be disappointing.

There was only one way to know.

Josh squats down and reaches for the small piece of paper, hesitantly flipping it over in the palm of his hand.

He stares at the contents of the note:

~  
Thank you for making my rough night a bit nicer.  
It means a lot to me when people want to listen to these songs.  
Tell me if you like them.  
Also, you're pretty.  
0145867123  
-Tyler  
~

Josh feels his body overwhelm with a fluttering sensation.  
His mind races, backtracking to when the note could have possibly been written.  
In the car, when he went to get the album. He must have written it quickly and slipped it in.  
He swipes his thumb over the messily scribbled handwriting and his heart feels warm. 

Soon, he finds himself humming the same tune that the boy had been just minutes ago. As if he'd left it behind with him.  
And so it’s now familiar melody continues to haunt him for the entire night, it being completely and utterly impossible to wipe from his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh listens to the album given to him by the strange boy at the Gas Station, and its not what he expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HELLO HI HEY SO  
> I know this was originally a oneshot, buT so many of you asked for more so i thought i'd make another chapter and see how it goes, hope ya like it. xx

Josh mumbles in his headless slumber, tiringly opening and closing his eyes. He forgot to close his curtains last night and the sun is beaming straight through and onto his face, it's warm but, he can see it through his shut eyes, leaving a reddish colour. It's annoying as fuck. 

He turns over and stretches out his limbs, awakening slowly. It's about midday, he slept in since he had such a late shift last night.

He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling, feeling content. His eyes adjusting to the light bouncing of the pale white walls. He reaches over to his bed side table, and unplugs his phone, bringing it back onto his shirtless chest and checking the time.

1:37pm

Josh begins to get up, not really wanting to part with his warm bed. He stretches out his arms before stumbling over to his wardrobe in attempt to find a shirt that isn't dirty. (He also gives himself a mental note to wash his goddamn clothes).

Soon a tune begins to fill his mind, so much so that he begins to hum it out loud without even realising. 

And as he rummages through his various jumbled clothing, humming, he pauses, and his brain refreshes.

Josh drops the shirt he was turning inside out and turns around, trying to remember where he put the album. He spots it on his bedside table and stares at it, a smile appearing on his lips. He doesn't know why he's so excited to listen to it but, he hopes its good, he really truly does.

He walks up to it slowly and picks it up, staring at the cover again, noticing little details he didn't notice in the shitty dim lighting of the gas station.  
He opens it up, but this time he's aware of the note inside. His smile widens upon looking at it, especially the _**you're pretty**_ part.

He thought about the boy, and how he radiated something that made Josh feel as if he had known him his entire life, while simultaneously being mysterious and unpredictable. It was hard to know what the boy was thinking, but the fact that the boy actually thought he was pretty, so much so to write it in ink and paper, was uncanny to Josh.

Who has the guts to do that? Even now-a-days, with such an accepting society, you don't know who could take it negatively. 

The thought of what could have happened to Tyler if he handed a note like that to the wrong person made Josh shiver.

These thoughts swirled in his mind and Josh had forgotten how long he was standing in that same spot, staring at the note.   
He sure wasn't homophobic, but it wasn't like... He doesn't... 

_He likes girls._

He reminds himself that everyday, hoping that it somehow dominates over the fact that he likes boys too. 

Josh finds himself going red, and decides to go have a shower before getting too caught up in his head. He enters the hall and turns into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and turning on the shower.

He likes taking showers in the day rather than the night, that way he can have the sun peeking through the blinds, leaving distorted lines through the blurred glass of the shower and onto his skin. It's one of the few times that he finds himself beautiful.

He struggles with that a lot, finding himself beautiful.

Josh sings as he showers, not that he really has a proper voice, but he knows how to stay in tune and make it not sound like a drowning animal.  

After his shower, Josh feels pleasantly refreshed. He wraps his towel around his waist, not really bothering to dry himself properly, and returns to his bedroom. 

He puts on his favourite pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt, attempting to not avert his eyes back to the phone number just casually siting on his bedside table.

When he's done, he picks up the album and slowly takes out the cd, making sure to be extra careful the entire time, his attention focused on not damaging it in any way.

He then turns on the stereo placed on his desk and places it inside.

He clicks play.

He anticipates the first note, the first word the first _anything._

And soon, a soft piano melody fills the room and wow he wasn't expecting that. Josh sits on the end of his bed and immediately closes his eyes, soaking in the music, still unsure of what to expect.

And so he listens, and he waits and _there_  
The boys voice fills Josh's ears, and it overwhelms him. The beat has picked up now, making josh's head sway side to side slightly, something he barely does because it makes him feel stupid, but he didn't care this time. 

The lyrics are different, he knows that. The song seems... Daring. He's never heard this. Whatever it is. 

He likes it. A lot. 

It's full of passion and emotion. It sounds so lively, but the lyrics seem to be expressing the opposite, and the whole contradiction of it all pulls Josh in. A few more songs pass, and Josh finds himself shocked. All he wants to do is keep listening, forever. 

The one thing that really astounds him is the _rapping_. 

It brings him back to his thought process when he was trying to guess the genre of the boys music.  He did not _at all_ think of rap. He still can't quite process it.

Josh almost feels like he shouldn't be listening to this, it's so open and honest, like this stranger is just spilling out his entire soul. It felt too personal, but there was no way Josh was going to stop listening, oh no. 

Instead he sits still, fiddling with his fingers and listening to Tyler's soothing voice. 

For a second Josh thinks that this is what home sounds like, but then he reminds himself that he's met this guy once.  
And although a gas station at 2am isn't ideal, Josh is glad he had met him.

The album finishes soon, and Josh was so deep into it that when the music stopped it was if he'd forgotten what silence sounds like.

The room seems darker now, and too quiet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh tends to overthink things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HeY so this is kinda a filler chapter & its not great but once i finish my exams i will get this story going a bit more & write longer, better chapters. I've been hella busy buT HEY THANKS FOR 1K READS LIKE HWAT WHY. Okay anyways love y'all byeeee

Josh sits at his small dining table, lifting his spoon out from his bowl of soup and tipping it back in, his mind elsewhere. He stares at his phone, face-up on the table, and contemplates whether he should message… the only person he seems to be thinking about at the moment.

He tells himself not to pass up the opportunity, that he’ll regret not telling this boy that his music is… indescribable.

But he’s scared. This boy called him _pretty_ after all.

And Josh has never… given in to his feelings. For boys, that is.

He’s had girlfriends, five, in fact. And they were all great, you could say that he even loved a few of them.

But he always found himself staring at boys.

The first time he truly became aware of it was at a basketball game. He was sitting on the bench watching a few of his friends play a match, and there was one boy. He was muscly but not too much, he had dark blackish-brown hair and was quite obviously the best player on the opposite team. 

Josh knew just by the look of him that he was the guy all the girls swooned over in high school.

It was when the boy ran past with the basketball in his hand and made eye contact with Josh, that he felt everything go in slow motion, he felt something so distinct, so displaced, that he never really understood it. He felt the same when he read that note.

His friends lost that game.

 

Since then, he knew. He’s never told a soul, and he made a vow that he never would. Not ever.

Something was drawing him to Tyler though, and maybe if he just ignored the whole 'pretty' thing then they could be good friends. Who knows, maybe he was just being nice.

And so with that conclusion, Josh picked up his phone and went into the contact he added earlier that day.

He clicked the name and started typing, first what he really wanted to say, but rushed:

_**Hey!! It’s the pink haired dude you met at the gas station the other day, I just wanted to tell you how much I absolutely loved your-** _

Josh backspaces until the message is cleared, sighing

_**Hi, It’s Josh, the guy at the gas station. I listened to your album and it was truly amazing, I really wasn’t expecting to hear-** _

Josh deletes the message again, getting frustrated because he doesn’t want to sound like an idiot or weird or anything.

_**Hey, it’s Josh, the guy from the gas station.** _

He decides to just keep it plain and simple.

_**-message sent-** _

Josh puts down his phone and places his unfinished dinner in the sink.

He doesn’t want to seem like he’s expecting a fast reply or being impatient, so he leaves his phone on the table and goes to watch some TV. He doesn’t really like watching TV, because “reality” shows are the fakest of them all. But something about the flashing colours and the soft noise makes him feel calm.

After a while he gets up to check his phone, there’s no reply, and for some reason he feels disappointed.

He starts checking it more frequently, each time feeling increasingly saddened by the blank screen, and each time getting more and more frustrated.

His mind took to bad assumptions. He was thinking too much.

_Tyler will reply._

He tried to distract himself, but he couldn’t budge the possibility that maybe he won’t.

He starts to think about things he might have done wrong, even rereading the message, checking he didn’t say anything weird.

It’s times like this where Josh gets extremely paranoid. His breath gets shortened and his chest tightens, he feels like he’s being restrained or held down, but his mind races free.

He’s never understood what was exactly happening to him in these moments, suppose that’s because nobody’s ever seen it happen, so they could never ask, and he could never answer.

Josh begins to pace the room, trying his best to focus breathing normally.

He watches his feet taking steady, fast steps. He begins to feel a bit better. 

Suddenly he realises something, and god did he feel stupid. _God damn_ did he feel so stupid.

He'd gotten himself worked up for nothing.  

How did he forget? 

The boy broke his phone. Right in front of his eyes.

He was probably getting it fixed today, so of course he couldn’t reply!

He felt more at ease, but his mind still stayed busy.

Until finally he tired himself out and fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another shift at the gas station... and a special visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of all, HAppY neW yEAR iTs 2017!!1!  
> I know i havent updated in a while but i've been writing chapters in advance and working on the  
> story line more so hopefully i'll be updating more often.  
> Love you all xx

 “Is that all ma’am?” Josh mumbles, already fading out of his extremely convincing ‘ ** _I’m totally happy to be here right now!!_** ’ voice.

It usually begins to disappear within an hour of being at work, or earlier if that same middle-aged woman gives you the same rant about how “petrol prices are just so expensive right now!”, as if you can do anything about it.

But when nobody is in the store, Josh’s mind begins to daze.

He thinks about how the last time he was standing here, he met Tyler. How he was standing right there, talking nervously and looking adorable.  

The though excites him.

But Josh felt a wave of immense guilt, and he’s unsure why, or what for. A voice in his mind tried to tell him something, but he pushed it away.

Josh decides to sit on his phone and play games as he usually does, it helps pass the time without him having to really think about anything. He likes feeling mindless every now and then, it’s like a refreshing numbness.

When Josh looks up a few minutes later, he sees the back of a guy with a grey jumper looking at some items.

Something trigger in his mind, the mousy brown hair. It couldn’t be, could it?

The man paces the isle slowly, his face still hidden, this feels all too familiar to Josh.

He stares intently, his mouth hung open slightly. Anticipating, waiting.

The man then turns, picks up a magazine and flicks through the pages.

Josh feels disappointment rush through his veins, but not for long. He felt silly dwelling on the fact that it wasn’t Tyler, he shouldn’t have expected it in the first place.

Josh leans back into his chair, and as soon as he looks back to his phone, he immediately gets a message.

**_Tyler: Are you working?_ **

Josh stares in amazement, his mouth now wide open.

He quickly searches the store, but is thankful when he only sees the grey jumper guy, he would’ve hated if Tyler saw him react like that to such a simple message. He also hates surprises.

He smiles at his phone, and began typing a reply.

**_Josh: Yeah, right now. Why?_ **

His legs began to bounce up and down as he waited for a reply, running his hand through his hair.

His phone buzzes within a minute.

**_Tyler: I’m visiting_ **

Josh’s heart leaps, and his palms begin to feel much hotter than they were before.

“Um excuse me”

Josh’s neck snaps up, and the guy with the grey jumper is standing there, arms crossed, with his items already on the counter and his credit card in his hand.

“Oh I’m so sorry”

Josh scans and bags all the items, but isn’t really thinking about what he’s doing at all, not even in the slightest.

“Have a good day sir” Josh says with may too much enthusiasm, as if his shift had just begun.

~

“You really liked it? Like actually, genuinely enjoyed the whole thing?” Tyler spoke in amazement, Josh nodded and laughed, picking carefully at his words.

“I swear, it’s really freakin good. You’ve got some crazy talent.” Josh hoped that Tyler believed him, he wasn’t saying it to be nice, he meant every word.

“Wow, thank you so much.  I worked pretty hard on it so… yeah. Thanks. ” Tyler spoke very softly, a timid smile approaching his face at the end of every sentence. Josh awed every time he laid his eyes on him.

Tyler leaned against the counter to the side a bit, whenever a customer came he would fiddle with a candy bar, observing at the colourful packaging. Josh watched as he did this, wondering if he was actually reading the ingredients or thinking of something else.

“You play anything?” Tyler asks, eyebrows raised slightly

“Oh uh, drums. But I don’t have my own set yet. My cousins use to have a set and I loved them, sometimes I go into music stores just to play on their drum set. Then I have to buy a cd or something so they don’t get mad.”

Tyler smiles, and Josh notices how Tyler’s eyes crinkle and the way his dimples sink in.

“You should really buy one. Drums suit you.”

Josh wanted to ask what made him ‘suit’ drums, but the conversation broke once a customer came to the counter.

After a little short of an hour of getting to know each other, including small gaps of awkward silence, Tyler and Josh found that they have a lot in common. For example, they both like music, video games (particularly Nintendo 64) and Taco Bell. They also seem to have a similar sense of humour.

“Are you sure you’re not going to get in trouble if I’m here?” Tyler asks worryingly

“No, trust me my manager is cool. He’s practically like a child, he won’t care.” It’s true, Josh’s manager was an absolute goof, if anything he’d _pretend_ he was really mad to make Tyler scared, and then burst out into laughter. Yeah, that sounds like Brendon.

“Okay, cool”

Silence stirs between them, Josh feels himself going red and Tyler keeps his head down, staring at the floor.

“We should-”

“I think I might-”

Tyler and Josh speak over each other and then stop immediately, their eyes meet.

“Sorry, you go first” Tyler shakes his head softly

“No it’s fine, you go” Josh smiles at Tyler’s awkwardness, if only he knew how anxious Josh felt right now.

“Well I was gonna say that I think I might go, but that we should maybe hang out some time?”

Josh was glad that Tyler said it first, he was just about to ask the same thing.

“Yeah, we should, um, you busy tomorrow?” Josh swallows, hoping he says no.

“No, I don’t think so. Taco Bell?” Tyler smiles, recollecting the short conversation about Taco Bell they had earlier.

“Okay, sure. I’ll text you”

Embarrassment overcomes Josh after saying _I’ll text you_ , it sounded way too much like they were planning a date. 

_It’s not a date._

After Tyler left, Josh sat back in his chair, slightly stunned. He wanted to seem as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if it was nothing, but in his mind, it just didn’t settle.

The boy was… beautiful.

Josh was letting himself slip, but for some reason, this time, he didn’t care.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date that's not a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING BESIDES HELLO I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE THE HEAVY DIRTY SOUL MUSIC VIDEO IS GOING TO BE LIT. LITERALLY.  
> OkAY hello all i wanna say thank you for all the support and comments and stuff, it makes me sososo happy.   
> I promised yall more chapters so heres one! Hope ya like it. Love you all x

Josh eyed himself in the mirror, checking his outfit for the fifth time. He grabs his keys and leaves the house, a wave of immense nervousness flowing through his blood, sitting in his bones.

The only reason anybody is ever nervous is because they care, and Josh cared a lot about this. He wanted to know more about Tyler. He wanted to be his friend. 

He follows the road leading to the address Tyler sent him, and when he stops at the house, he notices a small crucifix on the door. He watches the door open and Tyler emerge, something seemed all too ironic about it.

Josh stares as he approaches the car.

The door swings open, “hey”

_And there he is._

“Hey, how’s it going”

“Pretty good” Tyler responds, searching for the seatbelt

“Been working on anything new?” Josh asks, who knows, maybe he’ll let Josh listen to it early.

“I’m always working on something new, to be honest. I have to” Tyler mumbles

 “Have to?” Josh asks, a touch puzzled.

“Well, yeah. I feel lost if I don’t. I need creative release. If that makes sense…”

Josh is now intrigued.

“No yeah, I understand.”

A small gap of silence fills the air. Josh turns his head to discover Tyler staring at his hands.

He’d been tapping a simple drum beat on the steering wheel of the car for quite some time now, it’s a habit he’s always had. His father would tell him off at the dinner table for tapping his thumbs. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it most of the time.

“Kinda like that” Tyler says, motioning his head to the steering wheel slightly.

He was referring to the ‘creative release’ thing. Josh never thought of his drumming as much of an outlet before, but as soon as Tyler said it, it seemed to make sense.

 Everybody has their ‘thing’, maybe drumming is his. 

Once they reached Taco Bell and had ordered, they sat in a booth in the corner of the restaurant.

“We should go shopping” Tyler says, with a sudden boost of confidence.

“Yeah?” Josh says, feeling unsure.

“Yeah. Find you a nice drum set.” Tyler crosses his arms onto the table, leaning in slightly. There’s a shift in the air and Josh feels it.

“Oh… I don’t know…” Josh mumbles. He’s always been a cautious person, someone who thinks about their actions. Josh is beginning to realise that Tyler seems the exact opposite, even though it doesn’t fit his personality at all.

He likes how Tyler keeps surprising him.

“Common, why not?” Tyler says, and Josh feels slightly persuaded.  

Josh decides to not answer, because really, he doesn’t know why or why not. He just doesn’t.

Before Josh gets to speak, Tyler begins again.

“I can see how excited you get whenever you talk about it, you seem happier. I mean unless you’re thinking about something else...” Tyler pauses and watches Josh carefully, but Josh is once again shocked at Tyler’s flash of confidence, he looks down at the ground, refusing to meet Tyler’s eyes.

He chooses not to analyse it now, leave it for later tonight when he’s restless in bed.

“It just seems like you should just get one. I don’t know…” Tyler leans back into his chair, arms still folded. His voice much softer than before.

Josh feels bad, he doesn’t want to shut him down like that, so he gives in.

“Okay sure, let’s go drum shopping” Josh smiles, now the one leaning in.

“Really? Yes!” He sits up and a smile flashes across Tyler face.

It’s right then that the boys’ food comes, interrupting their exchange.

~

“How about this one?” Tyler points to random kit, and Josh laughs.

“Uhh I don’t know, I think that ones for children” Josh chuckles at the small kit, it only reaching a little past his knees.

“Oh” Tyler smiles.

They roam the shop, instruments surrounding them on every wall and every corner. Josh could tell that this was Tyler’s happy place. The way his eyes gleamed as he stared, his mouth slightly opened, reaching out his hands every now and then to feel the wood of a guitar or the keys of a piano. He assessed them, judging every curve and surface. Every sound.

 Josh anticipated, waiting for him to pick an instrument and start playing. Urging him to sing, to give Josh his own personal concert.

Soon Tyler picks up an ukulele and Josh smiles immediately, probably looking a little too eager.

As soon as Tyler begins to play, Josh recognises the melody immediately. It’s been stuck in his head ever since he first met the boy, how could he forget it.

Tyler hums quietly, slipping in a few words.

Josh is once again pulled in, he closes his eyes, as if he’s been put into a trance.

He stands and listens, feeling the emotion in Tyler’s voice, the soothing, soft words slipping from his lips.

As Tyler sings, Josh is still, his attention on Tyler’s voice and nothing more.

The music begins to gradually get louder, and Josh slowly opens his eyes.

It’s then that he realises that the music wasn’t getting louder, just closer, because Tyler is now standing in front of Josh, ukulele in his hand, centimetres from each other. 

The music stops, and Josh does nothing, nor does Tyler. A gap of silence between them.

Josh can feel his cheeks burn bright red and his heart begin to race, an electric pulse speeding through his palms and around his chest, his eyes feel a bit too wide.

 And just as his sight adjusts from Tyler’s eyes, to his lips, Tyler takes a step back and smiles.

“You like that?” He says, casually

As Tyler turns around to put back the ukulele, Josh releases his breath, relief flowing through his body.

“Oh uh, yeah… yeah” Josh stumbles through his words, trying his best to not make himself seem all strung up.

As they continue to walk around the store in silence, Josh see’s something towards the back of the store.

“Wait”

Josh pauses and then walks towards the shining red drum kit, stopping in front of it.

Not long after, Tyler is next to him, staring at the kit too.

“This is it” Josh says, turning his head to Tyler.

Tyler nods, smiling into the brown eyed boy’s eyes.

“This is it.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okaY im so sorry i havent updated in a while but i've been sooo busy. I have some pre-written chapters so im going to post them, but im not entirely sure how long im gonna keep writing for this story. anyways, sorry if i left yall hanging.

“Is it done?” Tyler asks, sitting cross legged on Josh’s brand new drum stool.  
“Almost” Josh mumbles, screwing in another piece.  
He continues to adjust a few of the pieces to his height, and tighten a couple of other stuff so that it doesn’t all fall apart.  
“And done, I think that’s it”  
He gets up and stands back, gazing at the beaming, red drum kit, it not quite fitting in with the rest of his dark and dull basement.  
Tyler stands up too “Well go on then”  
Josh turns to him “What?”  
And just after that, Josh is presented with a pair of red drum sticks, wrapped in a tight bow.  
“I know you got some but, I saw these and had to get them. I bought them while you were putting this heavy thing in the car.” Tyler holds them out, smiling humbly.  
“Wow, thank you so much. Um, you didn’t have to.” Josh was once again flustered at the actions of this boy.  
A boy he had just met, yet already had so much impact.  
He took the sticks and slipped them out of the bow, gazing at them happily.  
Josh approaches the kit, not exactly knowing what he’s doing at all.  
“Just pretend that you’re at your cousin’s house or in a store or something, I’m not here.” Tyler says from behind.  
Josh wanted to correct him. He was here, he was so fucking here and Josh wouldn’t have it any other way.  
Instead, he sits down and steps his foot onto the bass drum, and it was loud, but Josh loved it.  
He began to drum a simple tune, adjusting to the kit a bit more and playing it steadily.  
The more he played the more confident he became, and he began to slip into his zone.  
His arms worked fast, his feet knowing exactly when to step down. He felt the rhythm in his fingertips, echoing in his mind.  
He stayed focused, gripping onto his sticks. He changed up the beat every now and then, but never dropped the steady flow.  
After a few minutes, Josh stopped for a breath. He noticed drips of sweat forming on his head.  
He turned around to Tyler, who was standing in the same position, smiling brightly.  
Just as Tyler was about to speak, Josh cuts him off.  
“Thank you”  
Tyler takes a few steps forward.  
“Oh it’s okay, I just thought the sticks would match and…”  
He cuts him off again  
“Not for the sticks”  
Josh didn’t need to elaborate, he knew that Tyler knew what he meant.  
Tyler smiles at the ground, and Josh takes him in. He hadn’t felt this happy in a while.  
“You’re pretty damn good” Tyler chuckles.  
Josh needed to hear that, it meant a lot more than he thought it would.  
“Well, I guess I found my thing”  
~  
“So how exactly do you make an album?” Josh asks, eyeing the last piece of pizza.  
“I don’t know, I guess once you have enough songs and an idea of the sounds you want around them, you kinda just build it all up.” Tyler says, shrugging.  
“Hmm” Josh decides to take the last piece.  
After playing on the drums for a while, Josh asked Tyler to stay for dinner since he lives alone, also at the fact that he wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye.  
“What an eventful day” Josh sighs, adjusting himself on the couch.  
They sit in the dark watching TV, the no longer full box pizza in front of them, the glow of the television radiates onto Tyler’s face, the various colours splashing against his pale skin, Josh likes to peek over every now and then just to see it.  
Every time Josh tried to ignore what he was feeling, the one that makes him so conflicted, the feeling of ‘what if I just…’, it somehow creeps itself back in. He was getting tired of feeling guilty about it.  
Tyler doesn’t reply to Josh’s comment, instead he leans back and closes his eyes.  
“You know, I don’t usually do this” he mutters, his voice barely audible over the television noise.  
Josh looks over at Tyler, his eyes still closed.  
Josh swallows his throat, a tenseness holding his body tight.  
“Do what?” he replies carefully, scared of Tyler’s next words.  
He opens his eyes and stares directly into Josh’s.  
“Make friends” he says, a little clearer now, but with a tint of sadness in his tone.  
Josh looks down, he finds it a little hard to believe. So all he can do is relate.  
“Me either” He fidgets with his fingers, a sigh escaping his lips  
“So I guess we’re friends then?” Tyler mumbles, pulling himself up a little more.  
Josh pauses, although the question is silly, its somewhat refreshing. Nobody ever really does that, asks if they are friends. Josh feels a sense of security with the question, as if they are making some sort of universal bond.  
“Yes, definitely” Josh grins at Tyler, and Tyler gives him a soft smile.  
Josh gets the feeling that maybe Tyler has been hurt before, maybe a friend who had ditched him for someone else or something. He didn’t want to make assumptions, yet he couldn’t ask him.  
The room goes quiet and Josh goes back to watching TV, except he isn’t watching it at all. He thinks about the boy sitting next to him, just his presence makes Josh nervous.  
“Could you maybe drive me home? I was going to take the bus but it’s getting kinda dark” Tyler asks, and Josh has to restrain himself from seeming too eager. Any time with the boy was time well spent.  
“Yeah, sure”  
~  
“How long have you had this car?” Tyler asks, sitting in the passenger seat of Josh’s small little automobile. It’s a little old, and the black paint is beginning to chip around the edges, but the interior is good. And it runs strong.  
“Since I turned 18, I got it a week after my licence” Josh says with pride.  
Tyler sits quietly, asking a question every minute or so. Josh answered every single one of them.  
He loved night drives, something about the coloured lights and the street lamps, illuminating the road, made him feel a sense of contentment.  
“Oh just turn right here hun” Tyler says, noticing Josh’s lack of attention.  
Josh’s mind pauses, did he hear correctly? Did Tyler just call him…  
A voice in Josh’s head appears abruptly, a vicious voice. And something turns in him, an inner hatred. A hatred he did not want nor needed, but one that was ingrained into his brain.  
It was his fathers.  
“Don’t call me that” Josh says sternly, his hands gripping tight on the steering wheel  
He can feel Tyler’s eyes on him, confused.  
“What?”  
“Don’t call me that.” Josh says again, his teeth gritting.  
Memories of Josh’s father’s words flood into his brain. Bad memories, but memories that tended to surface. He couldn’t help it, he was brought up in home full of ignorance. And he wasn’t going to let his feelings over take him. He hated them, he had to stop them.  
Tie them to the forest and burn them down.  
It was then that Josh began to cry, not a sobbing kind, or a frantic kind, just tears. Streaming down his emotionless face. He continues to drive as if nothing was bothering him, even though his view was getting increasingly blurry.  
“Josh” he hears Tyler whisper next to him, a comforting voice.  
“Josh it’s okay” A hand reaches out, softly placing itself on Josh’s shoulder.  
He could swat it away and scream, tell Tyler to leave and never talk to him again.  
Or he could hold it.  
He did neither.  
Instead he stopped the car in front of Tyler’s house, and sat still.  
“I’m sorry” Josh whispers, closing his eyes.  
Tyler didn’t get out of the car quite yet, instead they sat there in the silence.  
Tyler returned his hand to his lap, staring down at his feet.  
“I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable” Tyler mumbles, and Josh suddenly feels immense guilt.  
“You didn’t. At all. It was my fault.” Josh begins to wipe his tears away, cupping his cheeks  
It was then that the sound of an unbuckled seatbelt fills the air, and even though Josh wants to protest, he doesn’t.  
Tyler opens the door and gets out slowly.  
Just before he closes it, he pokes his head through the doorway  
“Goodnight”  
~  
Josh speeds his way home, feeling shitty about his last interaction with Tyler. He didn’t want to ruin this friendship, he just couldn’t let what he felt was happening, happen.  
The way he felt today, the way his pulse raced whenever Tyler stood a little too close, whenever their eyes met, it built up, and he didn’t know what to do with it so he spat it back out.  
He made Tyler feel bad even though truly, Josh liked all the things he did… more than he could admit.  
He liked him more than he could admit.  
Tyler didn’t deserve that kinda treatment, and Josh swore he would never let that voice return. 

Josh had a dream that night that Tyler kissed him, and he woke up feeling ashamed.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for readingggg xx  
> (be sure to comment and stuff, its always nice to hear feedback)


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